actually i retype and retype this post for twice. but i still cant get the right words right sentence that i wanted on my mind. i m craving for more expressive words and sentences so i delete and delete. in order to make it more easier and understandable, i decided to use very very simple sentences. please do excuse me.

today i felt so fresh and my mind is as clear as crystal. it was my first time i get what chemistry teacher had taught in class as i have been taking tuition there for more than three months.

before this i hardly concentrate in doing one thing because my mind always wander off to him. get it more simple. my mind is only him. i like to think over and over about those conversations had with him. i thought myself fall deeper into him as days go by. but now i can sure i was wrong. i found he had fled away from my mind without my notice until today.well today i had a little chat with him in the msn. he asked about my love life. till that moment i only remember nay recall back that i told him i have little crush on him. wtf. this was happened like two weeks ago. don't know why i cant remember at all. at the same time i realized he didn't sms me for days. i realized myself no longer beg to see his name appears  in my phone like last time i did whenever my phone rings. now i can very sure i never fall into him  before.mayb i m just taking him too serious as the person i care. but what i have cared for him  not worth a damn from him. which causes sheer pain in me.suan le.

u know who u are, now u totally a stranger to me, i cant figure out why. yet i don't wish to have this kind of strange feeling. besides strange, i really cant find a better and more expressive word to describe the feeling i have toward u now. i not dare to use the word have an ample distance between u n me, this only making the line that exists between us more clearly n obvious. i m trying my best to set myself free infront of u like last time. spite whatever on my mind to u as i used to be, u know what  i watch my words now without my awareness.i hate it seriously, i m seeking the feeling i used to have when i be with you. mayb this the fate. wtf.